Weird Wonders: 14 Video Game Porn Parodies (NSFW)

DISCLAIMER: The following post is not safe for work. I have taken the liberty to censor out the naughty parts, but you still probably don’t want your boss peaking over your shoulder at censored out cartoon boobs. Oh, and you should probably be 18 or something.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the nitty gritty. I have scoured the web looking for the finest (and the worst) video game porn parodies! Here they be:

1. Super Hornio Brothers

Super-Hornio-BrothersThe classic Super Hornio Brothers starring Ron Jeremy. I’m not really sure of the plot or how it follows Mario (other than looking like the characters) and I don’t really think I want to know. Big dong or not, Ron Jeremy has always creeped me out.

ron-jeremy


2. Final Fuck X 

Final.FuckThis one doesn’t look too bad. Hot Asian chicks dressed up as Final Fantasy characters, I think that could be sexy. But if it’s horrible, it’s supposed the be the final, right? Right?!


 3. Grand Theft Auto 4 Pack

auto-4-packYes, these are all real movies. And yes, these are four separate Grand Theft Auto Knock Offs. I’m sure there are more out there and I’m sure they are equally as bad. These movies have nothing to do with the game, other than having the models/pornstars stand next to cars and pools and basically having that same font on the covers. Good job everybody. Good job.


4. Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare

call-of-bootyWhat the hell is whorefare? Anybody?


 5. Brain Age?

brain-ageUhh, they made a porn out of Brain Age? Maybe every time you get an answer correct she takes off a piece of clothing?


 6. Geki Fit 

geki-fitWhile on the subject of innocent-games-that-the-Japanese-Porn-industry-have-made-into-porn, apparently Wii Fit had some potential. From the back cover photos, I gather this is some weird soft core exercising porn. She probably just stretches her body into pretzel like shapes on a yoga mat for 45 minutes, while the camera zooms in and out on her sweaty boobs and butt. At least I hope that wet spot on her rear is sweat, but who knows.


 7. Left 4 Head

left-4-headI actually watched this one, 13 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. Yes, it’s floating around free on the internet and no I’m not giving you the link. Go to Yahoo Answers like I did. In a nutshell, Zoey is running around with a gun, then a weird zombie guy wraps his stretchy very fake looking penis around her body and jabs her in the face. She shoots his ass and then is attacked again down the hall, by what I assume is a different guy, but it’s really the same guy. He then pushes her to the floor and pulls off her clothes. She struggles, but is also somehow helping him take off her clothes, then it’s like a 7 minute long blowjob and then she dies. Just falls over dead. The end.


 8. Womb Raider

womb-raiderIt’s really a pity that ‘tomb’ rhymes with ‘womb’. By the way, you can buy this on Amazon.


 9. World of Whorecraft

World-of-WhorecraftThis one doesn’t look too bad either. Unfortunately there are probably a bunch of spin-offs that are completely horrible.


 10. Poke a Mom

poke-a-momI’m all for the mom jokes but this one was probably the most horrifying one I found. Come on, she’s not even a MILF and this has nothing to do with Pokemon. You could of at least had some attractive people dressed as cute furries or something. Use your imaginations


11. Bayonetta 

bayonettaThis one is not actually a movie, it’s a manga. But who’s really surprised that they made porn out of Bayonetta? Not me!


 12. Bioshock

bioshockBioshock is one of my favorite games. And it’s not my favorite because it’s sexy. No way would I take my pants off in a setting such as Rapture, obviously she’s never seen any of the cliche teenage slasher flicks. Naked people always get killed.


 13. Mirror’s Edge

mirrors-edgeHelicopters and policemen are after me. Let’s stop running and do a sexy photo session on the roof. I do have to admit it’s hotter than Poke a mom.


 14. Portal

portalWell, she’s stuck in a vacant testing facility and a girl has needs. I would totally use a portal gun to give myself oral, and you would too! Don’t even lie to yourself.


Know of other Video Game Porn Parodies that I missed? Leave them in the comments. Or if you have an idea for a video game porno, leave the name below. If you’re feeling daring, photoshop some cover art for cool points.

Warning: Some of the sources listed below will lead you to porn sites. Images cited in order of appearance.

Sources [ DestructoidJoystiqLiberty City SurvivorsYahoo AnswersAmazonKotaku ]

Image Sources [ Deviant Art User:Plucky LumpJotaSports and Entertainment Law Play BookInstant JavLiberty City SurvivorSea PornDestructoidCnet NewsNixie PixelOnline Watch MoviesEAE2Three PictureGeekologieImagefap ]

 *Some pictures may have changed due to the crossover from the old site to the new.

Brittany Saturn

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